Juno Leopardi Chapter 9- This is the goodbye I get?

Juno (39),her wife Jade (38)
Their children: twins: Phillip and Stewart (12) quads: Cristina, Hugo, Lewis and Othaniel (2)
Narrated by Juno.

Jade has been home more lately. It used to be that all her time was spent at work. Now most of it is with the kids and myself. Something has changed between us. I cant really place my finger on it but something is definitely different.

I know that she loves me. I know that she is happy with our kids but sometimes it feels as though she forces herself too much. I know after we had the quads life changed tremendously. I am not sure if she regrets having our quads. I know its a lot but we are managing the best we can.

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My brother was over and for some reason Jade decided to go to the study to fix the computer. It got late and when I told her that I was going to bed she told me to go ahead. I thought we could talk but when Jade gets focused forget it. I said good night and told her that my brother was in the other room in case she needed his help.

I woke up and remember hearing screaming. My brother yelled for me but I could not get up fast enough.

It happened so fast... there was nothing we could do. The ambulance got there but it was too late. Jade died from being electrocuted.

My brother did not know what to say. I was in shock. I wondered if I should go to the hospital but Otani told me there was no purpose. Jade was gone. What am I going to tell our kids? Otani hugged me and told me that everything would be OK.

Stewart came down and just hugged me. The next few days were a blur to me. I just remember Otani taking care of everything and making sure that everyone knew of the accident.

We were all a mess at the funeral. I did not take the quads because they did not really understand. I did not want any added stress to them. Phillip and Stewart came but it hurt me to see them cry.

The burial finished and all I could say is, "is this the goodbye I get?" I just cried and finally Otani took me home. I will always be grateful to my brother for being by our side.