Melody Sofia (33) her husband Joshua Ruben (35)
Narrated by Melody.
Lately Joshua and I have been barely communicating. He is up for a promotion at work and is asleep by the time I come to bed. We have not even had sex in such a long time that I am now reading romance novels just to remember what it was like.
Joshua is giving me the cold shoulder because he continues to tell me that he wants kids now. I on the other hand am not ready for kids. We are both barely getting started in our careers to think about kids.
I got shocked one morning when I answered the phone. I guess Joshua and I answered at the same time. Imagine my shock when I hear he got the promotion but in a different city.
I went to confront Joshua and he said he didnt want to talk about it. He was going to tell me later but he was going to be late for a meeting with his boss.
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My brother Joshua came over to visit. It is so great having him living back in Viramontes.
He is my baby brother but we talk about everything. I guess he's trying to date but finds himself missing Ava. I just want him to be happy. He could tell that something was wrong so I told him what happened with my husband.
He told me that I needed to find out what was going on. He too found it strange that Joshua got a promotion in a different city. We both said goodbye without mentioning the possibility of getting separated or divorced from my husband.
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Later Joshua came home and asked me if we could talk. He told me flat out that I needed to choose either to start trying for a child now or he wanted out. He was tired of waiting. He said after 10 years of marriage he wanted children.
This started an argument between us. I hate being pushed into a corner aboutbeing a mom. I am not ready and who care if we were married 20 years. If I feel we are not ready then we are not ready.
I got so angry that I yelled at him to get out and have fun in his new life. I was tired too of being stuck. He had the nerve to laugh and said he knew that would be my response.
I called my mom and she met me at the park. I told her everything and she was not surprised. She knew that Joshua would eventually get tired of waiting. I just don't know what is the big rush. I went home later that night and Joshua was gone.
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Months passed and I never picked up Joshua's phone calls. I even deleted his messages before they played. After a while he stopped calling. Then one day he called and I decided to pick up. He wanted us to meet in the park just the two of us. I agreed.
He looked thinner and so much younger than I remembered him. He looked genuinely happy. I on the other hand was just OK. He said it was great to see me and that he had been thinking a lot lately about our lives.
We talked for what seemed hours and in the end we both knew it was over. We will always love each other but getting married right after college did not allow me to live my life as a single adult. I wanted to just live with him but he wanted kids. I was no longer angry and we decided to officially file for separation.
We went back to our...well my apartment now and he packed everything he owned. He told me to keep the pool table and other articles.
It all seemed like a dream to me. I honestly did not think that it would get to this point. For some reason I started panicking. I thought that maybe we made a mistake.
Josh knows me... he hugged me and told me everything would be alright. He said, "I love you. Do you hear me? Its just a separation....if you change your mind then I will come running back." I wanted to tell him to stay but at the same time I know im not ready for kids.
When he left I just broke down. I was alone. I knew that I would be lonely knowing that I was really separated. Now I just felt horrible.
I had to come up with a game plan. For now it would be to save up, sell everything and move out of this apartment that held too many memories. This was my choice and I am sticking to it.
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