Narrated by Audrina
I decided to move to Colorado Spring to live with my sisters. We are now going to be living in the same town but not living in the same house nor building. I found a good building that was giving discounts to new residents to Colorado Springs.
I signed the contract and hoped that I would be able to make the rent. I dont think this lady knew that I did not have that much in the bank. Thank god they did not run a credit check because it would not support me getting this type of apartment.
My parents came over the minute that I got settled in. I think they both know that I cannot afford this appointment but in reality what can we do? I just want to try and succeed with making it on my own.
The first thing on the agenda is getting a job that pays! I tried to do an internship while I was in college but lets face it. There is no money in internships. Now that I am out of college, without a degree, I have to get a job. I saw an ad for a playground monitor and thought to myself why not? If all else fails, I can get my uncle Justin's wife Lashawn to give me a letter of recommendation.
Lauren also came by to visit me. She thought that I would have no problem getting a job as a playground monitor. She herself just got back from having a double whammy. She had a broken leg and is pregnant. When I heard that I was grateful that was not me. I honestly do not know how Lauren can even be pregnant again after having quads.
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One thing that I kept from college is my relationship with Ashley Pitts. We continued our relationship and honestly I love that this is my first real relationship.
We wasted no time hitting the sheets and reconnecting with each other again. When it was all over Ashley told me that he wanted to break it off for now. I guess he wanted to start his master's degree and I was not in his plans right now. I don't like the way he did it and what could I do but accept that we were over.
I guess I have single written all over my face because my neighbor asked me out on a date. I did not even have the strength to say no. I told him that I would give him a call.
I cant stop thinking about Ashley. I get online and he's there. He even had the audacity to instant message me. Is he serious? Does he not know that this break up is hurting me more than him?
I could not take it no more so I broke down and called him. He answered and to my surprise he said that he would stop by to see me. I did not think he would but yet he did.
When he arrived I could not control myself. I took my chance and kissed him. He kissed me back. He kissed me just the same way we kissed when we were together.
"Audrina...I don't know. I don't want you to get hurt. I want to be with you but not in a relationship."
"It's fine. I want to be with you too. Its OK if you only want to be with me tonight... I accept"
In the morning he was gone. I knew that it was a mistake because I feel lonelier more now than ever. I have to figure out a way to move on. I can not keep on like this. As much as I love Ashley..I love myself more.
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