Her kids: twins: Phillip and Stewart (14) Quads: Cristina, Hugo, Lewis and Othaniel (4)
Narrated by Juno
Otani comes over and makes sure that I am OK. I have to admit that I love having my brother over. He has been my shoulder to cry and lean on since Jade passed away.
I try to stay upbeat for my kids but this is not happening. Otani insists that I go talk to someone but right now I just want to be sad.
It's worse when the kids go to sleep. This is the time when I cry and miss Jade so much. I don't know what I did to have her taken away from me.
It's even worse when I catch one of the kids looking at our pictures. Phillip holds his emotions inside him. He cried at Jades funeral but does not really mentions her much.
Now that the toddler stage is over I could not be happier. I love my kids but changing four kids diapers all the time was getting tiresome. This also means that they are going to school and that means I have to come up with the cash somehow.
I am always scared that the kids will forget their mom Jade. They were only 3 when she passed. I hear Hugo and Othaniel talking about her seldomly. I think they vaguely remember her.
With all kids off to school, this gives me time to look at my finances. As of now this does not look good. I crunched numbers and I have to make some drastic changes. The first is to pull Phillip and Stewart from Private school and place them in a public one.
I also started growing some tomatoes. I heard its a little bit of a money maker plus the kids need some chores to learn responsibility.
*****
Beatrix called and asked me to go out to the park with her. I have not seen her since the funeral and she wanted to check up on me. It felt great to talk to her and get out a little bit. She lived with us so she knows more intimate details from my marriage to Jade. She asked if I was going to start dating again in the future. I honestly said it was not in my plans.
We talked about kids and then Chris came by to pick her up. Chris has been a great guy to Beatrix. I never thought she would get serious about someone until he came along.
They said goodbye to me and I stared at them missing my own connection with Jade. I never thought about dating because honestly right now my kids are my world. I now had to go home and tell two of them that I was changing their school. I hope they would not be too upset.
I sat both Phillip and Stewart down and told them that this family could not afford private school any more.
Their look on their faces almost killed me. They offered to work and help with the bills but it would still not be enough. Stewart looked more hurt than Phillip. In the end they both agreed, not as though they had a choice.
Stewart went upstairs and I could hear him playing his violin. I know he does this when he's upset.
Then I found out that he has been talking a LOT to one of his classmates and this is why he does not want to leave his school.
She came over to dinner and even tried to advocate for me just sending Stewart to private school. That was out of the question. I did not really care for this girl. I hope she is just someone that Stewart will move on from.
As a treat I offered to take everyone skating in the park. Phillip and Stewart declined but Hugo, Cristina, Othaniel and Lewis were ecstatic to go. I hope that they realize that I am doing the best that I can.
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