Brianna Chalmers-Barillas- ch 11- I need to let you go.

Brianna (43) her children:
Taylor (15), Isaiah (13) and Samira (7)


"I know that I shouldnt be saying this but honestly I miss you.   I really miss you Neil.  I missed having you with me.  The kids are growing up and well it seems that time is passing by so quickly.  Taylor is still undecided about college but I tell her that its best that she just goes.  Isaiah has announced to me that he is gay. I told him that it was OK. Samira is the only one without any new news other than her crisis of not having enough clothes.  I still can't believe we conceived her after everyone said it could not be done." I stopped myself and realized that I was talking to my husband's tomb as if it were the real him.   This is when I knew that I had to let go before I missed everything else going on in my home.

The kids are great kids.  They have adjusted to life without their dad.  Having two teens can get a little hectic. 

Isaiah has a new friend named George.  I asked him if they were dating and he said no.  He knows that he is not allowed to date until he is 15.  I am keeping a close watch but I hope that he chooses to wait before leaping into a so called "relationship" before he is ready. 

It seems that now that they have friends, the house is always occupied.  If its not George thats here then its Taylor's boyfriend Ifran.  Yes they finally made it "official" although I dont know how "official" things can get when they are 15.

Yet every day Taylor asks permission to go and hang out with Irfan.  I let her but she knows that one slip up and its over for her freedom.  I had the talk of the birds and bees...ya when did she get old enough  for that talk?

But the one thing that I can count on is that at the end of the day, the kids love being more with each other than their friends.  Taylor and Isaiah are two years apart and you could not really tell that they were.  They get along and they are always planning on where they want to go out next.

Good thing that Irfan forgave Isaiah for always spying on them. He was my informant but I suspect he has gone rogue.  Now I don't get any reports other than, "is it OK if I go out with Taylor and Ifran?" from Isaiah.  I let him but they should know that growing up with brothers gives me the experience to tell when he is lying.  So far they just go to the park to hang. 

Still I manage to reel them in on Sundays.  I like it to be a day for family.  Besides Samira can't go out on her own yet so I like for her to bond with her brother and sister.  Taylor sometimes hates this but I remind her that soon she will be on her on at college yearning for these days.

****************

Now I myself have finally given myself room to date.  I realized all to soon that I didn't miss the dating scene.  I met Heath at the court house.  He looked more interesting that he really was.  I love dark skinned men but that was not enough to keep me interested in his conversation. The date ended and I had never been happier.

Next I went out with Tyson Mccarthy.  I met him at the store and he was just not all there.  He was an OK date but I didnt feel as though we connected. 

I also dated Tim..Now he was great. There was such a connection and I felt that there was something there.  Yet why is it that he is 34?  I am a 43 year old woman...I feel bad dating a 34 year old man.  Why is it that interesting ones are always the young ones?  So I let him down easy but he said that he would not give up.. He likes older women.  What could I do?

At the end of my dating season...I kept finding boquets of roses from an anonymous sender.  I knew it was one of my dates since the card said, "had a great time on our date. Say yes to another.. give me a call".  The problem was having dated 3 guys who was the sender?  I choose not to deal with it since we were finally taking a family vacation
                                                                   *********************

We went to Tikki Island.  It was great to finally get away. Samira wanted to swim but the older kids and I just wanted to lay out in the sun.

We did manage to get a hula lesson in.  Samira lacked a little coordination but she gets an A for effort. 

Soon we were back home.  We were all relaxed and ready to conquer another week of work and school.

"But no matter who I date Neil...no one compares to you. But I need to let you go now...so that I can try to find someone to live the rest of my life with.  It gets lonely and well the kids are growing up.  I miss you... and don't worry I will never forget you".

Extras



I was playing around and decided to try some pose boxes.  No matter how hard I try..they still look a little weird. Either way I am happy to finally get a chance to post some stories!  Many more are queued to publish but I will do at a slow pace.